Coincidentally, this is a pretty, bad, BAD day for me. I had a terrible fight with Christian starting at 12 midnight, and which continued until morning. When I went to school, I got pissed off and snapped at some of my Law school barkada. I walked away and spent $$$ buying expensive shoes, in my effort to make myself feel better. By the end of the day, I had blown off a crucial percentage of my monthly allowance and still remained distant with my boyfriend and some close friends.
Things I learned today:
1) A little patience goes a long way.
If only I had waited for a few more minutes for Christian to turn off the tv and dress up (just like he promised he would), we could have gone to Tonton and get massages together last night. We could have ended the day on a happy note, slept close together and woken up happy. Instead, I snapped at him, picked a fight and went to get the massage alone. We slept far apart from each other, so I slept lousily. Naturally, my morning started out bad.
2) Control your temper.
If I had not snapped at my law school friends, and accepted their offer to put me on the guest list for the Congress session today, I could have joined and watched the session with them. Instead, I held on to my pride, thought "Putcha, bakit ko isisiksik ang sarili ko sa inyo", and walked away from their sincere offer of help. So I ended up walking alone in UP on super high heels that I curse.
3) Appreciate people. Give them credit.
My irritation with my friends might have stemmed up from my feelings of alienation. Feelings which were made worse by the fact that I brought this upon my self. I am always the one missing on dinners, movie dates, lunches, birthday celebrations, study dates, etc. Hence, even as I was irritated with them (and LSG), I guess I was more irritated with myself.
On the other hand, I would always try to justify my being MIA: since all of them live within the UP vicinity, they always pick a restaurant or mall in QC, and sometimes I'm just too tired to take a commute from Mandaluyong to QC just to have dinner. Also, as I am the only one who is in a relationship (with the exception of one who has a long-distance girlfriend), I miss some barkada moments because I also have a boyfriend to attend to. I also have the sorority taking up some of my time. Secretly, I wish they wouldn't alienate me as I do have legitimate reasons. Then, today happened, and I instantly felt alienated and rejected.
In hindsight, I should have given them more credit. Maybe it was a case of a simple mistake. Maybe it wasn't their intention not to inform me of the name registration for the Congress visit. Maybe I am the only one thinking these things. Maybe they still consider me a part of the barkada.
With respect to Christian, I should have given him more credit. Instead of second-guessing him, I should have trusted him to keep his word. He promised to take me to get a massage, knowing I badly needed one, so I should have trusted him to take me to get the frickin' massage.
Just like every crucial lesson in life, I learned all these things the hard way.
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